


It's good to just exist for a while

by Cereal_at_2am



Series: The trees look different at night [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Depressed Deceit | Janus Sanders, Gen, Janus drinks tea and contemplates, Mild Dissociation, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28771062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cereal_at_2am/pseuds/Cereal_at_2am
Summary: It's a better day, and those don't come by that often.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: The trees look different at night [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2109405
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	It's good to just exist for a while

There was something peaceful about watching the leaves fall off the trees. About sitting on a dark wooden porch, curled up in a blanket, a cup of hot tea warming your hands. 

Soft, but cold, wind brushing a few strands of hair out of your face and back down again. The faint smell of rain from the day before, the gold and dark red trees reflecting in the puddles on the street.

If he'd listen closely, Janus could hear quiet and synchronised songs sang by the many birds nearby. Or a car or two driving on the next street over. 

It felt familiar, like a home. Their home. It didn't surprise him. 

As much as he liked hanging out with Remus, especially because he never asked the same questions and always made sure to create working distractions, the peace and quiet in Patton's area of the mindscape really helped him calm down, though the father figure made sure to not let him dwell here for too long, lest Janus loses himself in memories that might trigger unpleasent consequences. 

But it felt nice, to feel these things, to let himself feel sad. Mildly annoyed or even, dare he say, happy? Or rather, content. 

No matter what it actually was, he felt something positive, and Janus was not going to psychoanalyze his feelings and thoughts, he would leave that to Picani. Instead, he let himself be, and enjoy the moment as long as he had it. 

It was worlds better than the apathy. 

Janus sighed quietly, taking a sip of his tea. It was black, with just a little bit of milk and sugar, like every beverage Patton prepared. Not usually how he would drink it, but for right now it felt right, good. 

Hearing the door open next to him, the snake-like side burried himself deeper in the blankets, trying to avoid eye contact.  
He couldn't do that just yet, and he was grateful that they gave him time. 

Patton was now sitting next to him, without saying a word. With a quick glance in his direction, he saw that the moral side wasn't wearing a jacket. 

_Idiot._

But that meant he had to go now, _too bad._

"Do you like it here? I wanted to uh.. make the atmosphere here more familiar, hence the town. Like back then, when things were a bit... easier I guess."

He laughed nervously, "There's a forest nearby, if you want to take a walk sometime." 

Janus let his gaze wander over the suburban street to the mass of trees in the distance.  
Out of all of the others, Patton, surprisingly, was the only one talking about it.  
About Janus, about his own thoughts and feelings. Willing to talk about what happened, what he did.

It was grounding, to stay with reality like that, no matter how dark it'd been. 

He would love to take a walk. 

"...But not today?" 

"No, not today. You've already been here for quite a while." 

"Yeah." 

Patton stood up, reaching a hand towards the blanket burrito, Janus took it and followed him back inside, both now disappearing back to the commons. 

"Hey, Janus?" 

"Yes?" 

"Next time we walk through the forest, okay? There is a small field of sunflowers, I have a feeling you'd like it." 

Ah. Sunflowers, they knew those were his favorite. Roman must have helped him with it.  
Janus sat down on the couch, watching Patton walk into the kitchen area to prepare lunch. 

"Yes, I think I would like that." 

"Good." Patton smiled. 

He sat there, reaching for a book on the coffee table, as he waited for the others to fill in the room. 

A look in the future has never been more appealing than right now, and Janus decided he could work with that. 

_Let's see what tomorrow brings._


End file.
